" The Joy of the Lord is our Strength" Nehemiah 8:10
This week I had the privilege to speak at an event for a local group on my journey with MS and choosing joy. I was so touched by those who came and especially moved by many fellow MS sufferers who were there. It was a pleasure to meet so many of you and have a sense that we were able to understand each other and can support each other.
Many of you were taking notes, but some asked me to write down the 5 reminders that I discussed in my talk so you can refer back to them.
1. Remember not to compare.
As we talked about, comparison is the thief of joy. It is a slippery slope and a trap. I will lose my ability to hold on to joy if I am constantly thinking about what I can't do anymore. I have to focus on what I CAN do. If you recall I talked about going to Disneyland a couple months ago. I was very grumpy about having to be in my wheelchair. But within a short period of time my husband was doing wheelies with me in the chair and we were laughing and my children were laughing, and we were having a wonderful time. If I compare myself to everyone else I will miss out on moments of joy. Remembering not to compare also helps me to be a better friend. I can celebrate my friend's accomplishments with a genuine heart and rejoice with them. A couple years ago I got to watch two of my dearest friends complete a marathon and I joyfully sat and clapped in my wheelchair and wouldn't have missed it for anything. If I was busy feeling sorry for myself and comparing, I would have missed out on being a good friend and missed a special moment in their lives.
2. Remember to fill your life with daily reminders
Let's face it, on tough days even our best of intentions of choosing joy can quickly go out the window. Pain and disappointment, or new symptoms can bring us down very quickly. When I wake up in the morning, swing my legs over the bed, and look down at my feet and I can't feel them or walk for an hour or so, I'm easily tempted to crawl back into bed, throw the covers over my head, and be swallowed in sadness and despair.
But then I lift my eyes and I look around and there are reminders all around me. My home is filled with signs and Scriptures that remind me every day to have hope, to have faith, and to choose joy. One of my favorite sayings is on my dining room wall. It says "Every day holds the possibility of a miracle". I need these reminders so much that I even have a tattoo on my left ankle. It says JOY with an anchor to remind me to be anchored in joy. So even as I'm sitting there on the edge of the bed and I am tempted to lose faith I can look down even on my own leg, take a deep breath, pray... and be reminded to walk in joy.
3. Remember you are never alone
Chronic illness, cancer, loss or grief .....all of these things can at times keep us isolated and it's easy to feel alone. Since I was a child the poem 'Footprints in the Sand" has been my favorite. In my darkest times through every challenge I have been through, I close my eyes and think of those times when he carried me. And I remember I am never alone.
But never being alone means not just remembering that God is by my side. I have learned how to surround myself with safe people and we take turns taking care of one another. We pray for one another. We never allow each other to feel alone.
4. Remember to watch out for counterfeit joy
I shared with you the story about when my husband and I were in France two years ago. We were able to go to the home of Leonardo da Vinci. There was an exhibit going on that day including some of his most famous masterpieces. I walked in and right in front of me was the Mona Lisa. I was so excited, it was so beautiful, but then I quickly realized that it was a copy. And although it looked exactly the same as the original, the authentic Mona Lisa hangs in the Louvre in Paris. I knew in my heart that I was looking at a counterfeit.
However, I have stood in Rome at the Vatican under the beautiful masterpiece of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. That was the real thing! And it was extraordinary! That was the absolute, authentic masterpiece.
Our joy is much the same way. We can't look to the world for temporary fixes when we need to find joy. We have to seek after the real thing.
I Thessalonians 2:20 says "For you, O Lord, are our glory and Joy". God IS our joy. He IS joy!
**What you believe to be true affects your outlook and ability to cope when it gets hard. If you fill your life with counterfeit forms of joy you will never have unshakable stability, authentic hope, or authentic joy.
5. Remember to let it change you
I'd love to think that I would be a deep woman of faith and joy without my MS, but to be transparent and honest, I really don't think so. I believe the depth of my faith would not be as significant without it. It is changed my perspective on everything. It has taught me humility, compassion, most definitely how to laugh at myself, and how to cherish each day and be grateful.
It has also taught me how to care about other people's pain and their challenges. It has allowed me to be involved with their causes and what is important to them and support them. I believe it's also made me a better friend. By understanding pain, I know how to comfort a friend in need, hold their hand, and maybe hug a little bit longer than I would have before. It has also taught me to deeply love my husband and my girls who are my helpers and many times my caretakers. And it has allowed me to set an example for my children on how to overcome, to be warriors in their own life, and how to fill our home with joy despite our circumstances.
I don't see my story or continuing story with MS as a sad story, not a story of defeat, but as a rescue story. He has rescued my heart and continues to do so every day. There are times I can get off course. When pain, disease progression, or the fear of the future starts to get to me and I am floundering in the deep waters, I may not always be able to walk but I can crawl to where I can find him and he rescues me and gives me his joy... every time.
Blessings,
Deb :)
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