We Americans really don't do this well. Somehow we seem to get our identity in how busy we are, how stressed out we've become and how many commitments we have. We overwork, overstress and undersleep. We run on fumes thinking that the busier and more productive we are, the more value we have. WRONG! We are left with giving the most important people in our lives our leftovers, including ourselves, and then wonder why our relationships are struggling and our anxiety is high. Taking time for ourselves to have solitude seems like a failure rather than a healthy way of calming our minds and becoming the best version of ourselves. Friends, we have got to change this mindset.
So what happened that day when I had my little meltdown? I decided to choose silence and solitude. No radio, no commercials and annoying ads screaming at me for my attention. I got in my car, drove down to the beach and sat there for quite awhile. I listened to the waves, the birds, people enjoying each other, and I just breathed. I found myself wanting to pray (because of course I have to so something!) and I felt God saying "Shhhh...don't talk.... just breathe and be". My pulse slowed down, my breathing was back to normal and the spinning thoughts disappeared and clarity replaced them. I came home with a different outlook and my countenance had completely changed.
Sound like a familiar scenario in your own life? Feeling anxious and overwhelmed? When was the last time you had some silence and solitude?
The intentional disciplines of silence and solitude may seem quiet, but they're also full of adventure because God Himself is waiting to meet you there. Whenever you get away from the noise and busyness of life to encounter God through silence and solitude, He’ll change your soul in ways that go beyond words and ALL of your personal relationships will reap the rewards.
1. Pay attention to what’s
stirring in your soul. Notice the feelings of
desperation that you experience at various times. Instead of trying to suppress
or run from those feelings, let them motivate you to pursue time with yourself and with God.
2. Incorporate silence and
solitude into your life regularly. Choose a regular time
and place to get away from life as usual and spend at least 10 minutes in
silence and solitude as often as you can. Turn off the noise! Whether a park, the beach, your backyard, the mountains, or even your car. All can be a place to find solitude.
3. Overcome resistance. Don’t
let anything distract you from devoting yourself regularly to this practice of solitude. Distractions truly are the enemy, we all know that. There is ALWAYS something demanding our attention. Resist the temptation to always respond right away and go have your time.
4. Seek rest for your body, mind,
and soul. Pray for the wisdom you need to recognize when you’ve become
dangerously tired – exhausted by life’s demands, to the point where you can’t
hear God’s voice speaking to you. While
you’re spending time in solitude take deep breaths, relax, and just listen. Saying no to things can be incredibly healthy. Know your limits and the slippery slope of people-pleasing that leads you to take on too much.
5.
Face yourself as you really
are, and let God help you. Rather than hiding from God, or
trying to control what others think of you, allow the truth of who you are to
surface during solitude and silence – and face the reality of the person you
see, flaws and all. Keep in mind that God is for you, and with you. So give yourself completely to God, who loves you just as
you are but also loves you too much to let you stay as you are.
*In
solitude and silence you’re learning to stop doing, stop producing, stop
pleasing people, stop entertaining yourself, stop obsessing — stop doing
anything except to simply be yourself before God and be found by
him.
Now turn off your computer, turn off the noise, and go find some solitude,
I'm going to do the same. ...Deb :)
My solitude spot :)
