So hard to say goodbye. Feelings of a "first timer".....

       I admit, I am a first timer.  In 25 days I will say goodbye to my firstborn girl, put her on a plane and she will fly far, far away.  She is my first goodbye.  I know many others who will giggle at me because they have already done this, but for me, it's the first time.  And I feel it.  I am torn between genuine excitement and joy for her new adventure, and the sadness and pain of her leaving the nest after 18 years of childhood.  I have many friends going through this right now and they are "feeling it" just like me (thank God we have each other). We all can truly relate right now!

       Last week I was sitting on my patio reading and a hummingbird began to fly around me. Pretty aggressively, I might add.  As I followed her movements she landed amidst the ficus tree behind me.  It was then I understood her wild flying.  She was a mommy.  She was bringing food to her babies in the tiny nest in my patio tree.  I sat still and watched, amazed at nature and feeling a bit at one with her as a Mom. After a short time I saw these tiny, little heads pop up and one began to hop and try to fly.  Momma bird was flitting about nervously watching her baby take these steps for the first time.  She didn't get too close, though.  I am sure she wanted to, but had to give the little one it's space as she learned to fly.  Tears began to sting my eyes as I thought of my own child ready to do the same.  I feel like that momma bird.  I feel protective, excited, nervous, anticipating, scared, yet humbly ready to do what I have to do. And that means I have to do the job I have been doing since the day she made me a mom.  I have to prepare her, let go, trust God, and let her fly.  Out of the nest, and on her own.  It's time.....

    

      So, for all the other "first timers" out there you know exactly where I am coming from.  We now have a common bond.  We know how hard it is to say goodbye.   I pray peace for your hearts and know we will laugh and cry with each other in the months to come.  And for you experienced moms, thanks for your help and encouragement and for leading the way with wisdom for us.

     To all the new college students out there, enjoy the journey!  Be thankful and purposely grateful to your families who have paved the way, mentored you, lovingly disciplined and helped you be ready to fly away from the nest.  Best wishes for success and staying true to who you are. And prayers for you specifically for strength not to compromise and to be light in the world. 

  * * And to my daughter,  my firstborn, I share with you my humble gratitude at the privilege of being your mom.  I am grateful for all we have learned together, how we have worked and fought hard at our relationship together.  Now I look forward to also being your friend.  I know you are ready and  I will watch, like the hummingbird mom, as you take those steps, find your wings..... and fly.  I love you....

      Hold on to faith.   :-)